Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
