i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize