They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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