remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
