i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
only you would photoshop your dick
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
