chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
