Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
