You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
