yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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