Me. At least after what I've been through.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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