i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
