I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
