Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
