My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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