Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
