If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
