Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
