i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
