what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
