girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
