youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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