apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
