Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
