Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize