She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
