you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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