he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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