I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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