Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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