he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
