the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
