never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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