You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
