why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
