i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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