I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
