Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
