she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
