Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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