I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
