There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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