Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
