he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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