if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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