just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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