with your own penis?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
