Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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