i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You may now shotgun with the bride
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
