what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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