I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she smelled like a LAN party
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
