Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize