Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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