I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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