Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
