What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
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While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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