I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
