Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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