Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
