I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
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Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
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Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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