If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize