shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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