I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
